The Halloween Prank
by Guardian Kysra
Summary: This is why live journal memes should not be turned into fanfiction. SetoTea


Once upon a time, Kysra posted a Halloween meme on her LJ which Azurite thought should be converted into a YGO fic . . .

**_The Halloween Prank  
_by Kysra**

"You guys are sick." It was an honest statement rather than an insult, and Téa blithely wondered why sweet, unassuming Yugi would have gone along with it. Her eyes, formerly occupied with the duty of darkly-glaring at her two madly-grinning-goofball best friends, turned a patient-but-questioning look upon her third downcast-and-blushing best friend and former crush.

Yugi, feeling the heat of her stare, resolutely kept his focus on the toes of his over-sized purple boots as he shuffled restlessly and tried to deafen himself to the chuckles bursting behind him.

"Well? I'm waiting for one of you stooges to explain yourselves . . ." Her foot seemed to tap, tap, tap in time with the drip, drip, drip from a leaky overhead pipe.

Joey snorted unintentionally, breathless from trying to subdue his laughter, "Oh come on, Téa He deserves it. Payback's a bitch."

"Besides," Tristan gave one last snicker, his hand resting on the camera hanging around his neck, "Pegasus is the one who came up with the idea."

Yugi wisely kept his own counsel. He didn't need Téa yelling at him. Guilt was already gnawing at his gut.

There, upon the dungeon floor lay Seto Kaiba. In a too-tight, too-small Nippon Airlines stewardess outfit, complete with nude panty-hose, stiletto heels, and thick make-up.

"You _will_ undo this - preferably **before** he wakes up."

Silence reigned in the dark corridor until Yugi timidly cleared his throat and ventured forth with an unfortunate truth, "We can't."

The three young men sensed they were in immediate danger and would later swear to their great-great grandchildren that Great-great Aunt Téa had never been more fearsome than she was at that moment, "**Why NOT!**" Her head snapped to Joey who had been backing away quietly, "Don't even think about it, Wheeler. I'm wearing heels, but I know that headdress of yours weighs at least ten pounds."

"We sort of uhhisslows," Tristan's words ran together as he shrank under her mighty evil-eye.

"You WHAT?"

"We. Burned. His. Clothes." A new voice echoed through the darkness, and the four felt a shiver run up their spines at the sound. For suddenly, inexplicably, the cause of this incident - and so many other miseries - found and dazzled them with his resplendent Scarlett O'Hara costume of green velvet and gold fringe. "Doesn't he make the cutest stewardess? You're a very lucky lady, Téa-dahling "

Disbelieving and beyond angry at having her first Halloween with Seto ruined (and she had worked so hard on designing an outfit meant to attract his attention), Téa found the wherewithal to stomp over to the white-haired nut-job and poke him in his padded, bodiced chest. "What in hell is WRONG with you? Aren't you supposed to be an adult? And - newsflash - kidnapping is **illegal!**"

The unwitting cyclops merely smiled jovially, "But Téa-dahling, don't you think he's just adorable?"

"NO! NO! I don't and if –"

A groan from below and behind sounded, and within nanoseconds she was kneeling by his side, asking if he was alright, how many fingers, and did he remember what happened to bring him here? His head slowly turned toward her, a sliver of blue visible between his nearly-closed eyelids as his gravelly voice inquired, "Are you putting the kettle on?" He breathed in deeply, squinted a little harder, and then, "Téa? I need aspirin."

Joey couldn't decide what was stranger, that Pegasus actually looked hot in a dress (if you ignored that he was a guy and insane) or that Téa was cooing and fussing over the downed and dragged CEO like a veteran wife or seasoned mother while garbed in tight leather strategically placed straps that seemed to hide nothing while revealing only hints of skin. Ultimately, he decided to keep his mouth shut and his eyes to himself, especially after Téa turned to present a fierce evil-eye to her amused and entertained audience.

"One of you had better give me an aspirin or something, or I'll have all of you arrested for this. That includes you, Yugi!" The tri-color haired teen had the grace to blush as his friend mumbled under her breath that he should have known better.

Snickering behind a gold fan, Pegasus (aka the Great Albino Nut-job) offered the disgruntled girlfriend a handkerchief. "You might want to clean off his face first."

So distraught was Téa Gardner, that she took the cloth without question and began to tenderly clean the make-up from her boyfriend's face. Behind her, Pegasus was gesturing wildly to his partners-in-crime as they chuckled under their breaths.

Seto mumbled something incoherently while Téa worked on his nose and mouth before collapsing again into sleep.

"Seto? Seto! Wake up! Why are you . . ." She held the cloth to her own nostrils briefly and smelled the distinct scent of chloroform. Throwing the hanky down furiously, the brunette clambered to her feet to stare down the idiots who were responsible for this.

"You two!" Téa stabbed a finger tipped with a fake fingernail towards Joey then Tristan, "Pick him up and get him out of this goddamned dungeon!"

The boys-formerly-known-as-her-best-friends rushed to do her bidding, and Yugi, nervous and full of guilt, made to follow them.

However, Téa wasn't about to let him get off that easy, "Yugi! You will find Seto some clothes to wear and a wet cloth (WET WITH WATER) to wash his face. Do you understand?"

"Y . . . yes . . . Téa."

"Very good." She was fairly hissing now.

That left . . .

"Pegasus!"

He was fairly bouncing in his pantaloons, "Yessss, mistress."

Téa rolled her eyes heavenward, "You're coming with me."

"Are you going to _punish_ me?" Even in a huge gown, vibrant lipstick, and an intricate upsweep, the man had an unsettling leer. Of course, that could have been due to his little one-eye problem.

He felt a little shiver go down his spine at her Kaiba-esque grin. "You could say that."

He was tall, dark, handsome, and staring.

"Rhett Butler, meet Scarlett O'hara. Scarlett, I'm sure you know what to do to show Rhett here a good time." Téa grinned at Pegasus's stunned expression before she sashayed into the crowd of monsters, ghouls, and ghosts, looking for the master bedroom where her poor, beloved boyfriend lay in wait for her tender, loving, cat-o-nine-tails care.

'Rhett' smiled beneath the fake ebony mustache, "How's about a kiss, Miss Scarlett?"

"I'm a married man, so you'll forgive me for my lack of interest." Turning on his heel, Pegasus made to leave when a strong hand grabbed hold of his wrist.

"Frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a damn."


End file.
